Bleacher Report: Auburn QB Cam Newton Cleared by NCAA for SEC Championship Game (Satire)
This week, the NCAA declared Auburn University star QB Cam Newton eligible to play in Saturday’s SEC championship game versus Steve Spurrier’s South Carolina Gamecocks. Emboldened and energized by the NCAA’s decision, Newton’s embattled father Cecil escalated his ridiculous future demands regarding his Heisman hopeful son. The elder Newton mandated these Mariah Carey-type diva demands, requiring that: The Heisman Trophy would need to be plated in 18 carat gold, so if Cam is ultimately selected, Cecil could melt down the metal to help cover his burgeoning legal expenses. Frito Lay would need to name a new chip after the younger ...